were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
