May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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