i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
