So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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