Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
