you guys were way drunker than both of me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
