Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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