I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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