brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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