He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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