I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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