yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
