I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
