Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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