If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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