she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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