I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
