escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
