you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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