you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
