He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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