I skipped work to stalk him.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
