well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
