He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
