I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
