This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
