You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I met the friendliest cop last night
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
