i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
