Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm always down for nudity.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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