her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
is it fun? or sober?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
