Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
