one might say we're banned from that church
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
