He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
