Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
