The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
