My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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