It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
