I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
