That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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