hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
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