Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
