I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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