That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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