I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
