Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Mom said you looked used
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
