OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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