I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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