I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
