whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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