Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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