Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
