sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
