Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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