When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
