I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
