oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
