fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
