i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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