I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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