:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
