you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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