Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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