i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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