I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
