Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the day after is always just damage control
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
