Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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