If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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